Let it go…

I can’t control everything. That shouldn’t be a big revelation, but maybe it is, because I’ve tried. Starting now, I’m letting go of the things beyond my control.

I’m going to embrace the part of life I can control – myself. That’s right, not my husband, not my friends, not even my son, just me. I need to stop trying to control the world around me and start looking within.

It’s a scary prospect – letting go. I’m terrified everything might just fall apart if I’m not directing up front, but that’s just my ego talking, isn’t it? I think if I can get beyond the fear, it will also be exhilerating, freeing. How wonderful will it feel to just let it go?

I’ve met folks out there that have such a great grasp on this ideal. Those that lead not with control, but by example. No matter what is going on around them, they have an inner peace that never waivers. I want to be one of those folks.

Isn’t that how the Bible tells us to live? I believe so. I also believe the only true inner peace is found through faith. If we truly believe, there is no need to fear.

So, this is my testimony today. I am going to find my peace through my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. If you feel the same, please find yours as well. You can give your heart to the Lord any time you choose, including right now.

Published in: on September 3, 2014 at 10:09 am  Leave a Comment  

I finally know what I’m looking for…

I have a confession to make. I’m a people-watcher in more than one aspect. My attention naturally waivers to fascinating people in a crowd — that overly happy lady drinking coffee and chatting on her cell phone about her day, the man jogging by at a steady pace, the teenager with his chin held high and proud.

I also love watching people on TV. Weight loss success stories fascinate me. Tribute stories to those that have given so much of themselves to others warms my heart. Survival stories interest me more than anything else.

I started wondering…why am I secretly tuned into the lives of those around me?

I finally know. I’m looking for something, and I finally know what that something is. I’m looking for strength.

I want to know where others find their inner strength. Why is the woman on the phone drinking coffee so happy? Where does that glow come from? Where did the man jogging find his motivation? Why is the teenager so sure of himself?

So, here is my question to you: where do you find your inner strength?

Published in: on November 6, 2011 at 9:04 pm  Comments (2)  

Be bold, be brave, ask for what you need.

Do you ask for what you need?

I know. It seems such a bold thing to do, right? Yep, it is, but we should do every single day in every single moment.

So, why don’t we?

Maybe we’re afraid we’ll be told no. That’s a possibility. Then again, it’s nothing we haven’t heard before. We can handle hearing no, don’t you think?

Let’s dig deeper. Could it be that we don’t say what we need because we expect people to know without us having to tell them? Uh-oh. I’m definitely guilty of this one, particularly with my husband.

Go even deeper. Do we keep our needs to ourselves, because we can control that form of disappointment? Let’s face it. Disappointment hurts, but like with anything, it’s much less scary if we have some control over it.

When we control the disappointment, we also control the outcome. We can choose to push that person away when they don’t give us what we need. Then, the best part of all, we can feel righteous about it, because we knew it was going to happen.

Wow. I’m really going there this morning, aren’t I?

It really all comes down to fear, doesn’t it? Let’s let the fear and the need to control go. Be bold, be brave, and ask for what you need. Hey, you might actually get it!

I’ll start… *Gulp* Here I go… I’ll have to tell you how it ends up later. 🙂

Published in: on April 22, 2011 at 8:11 am  Comments (2)  

The Wooden Bowl

Author Unknown –

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and
four-year-old grandson. The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.

The family ate together at the table, but the elderly grandfather’s shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the
floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. ‘We must do something about father,’ said the son. ‘I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor…’

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.

When the family glanced in Grandfather’s direction, sometimes he had a tear
in his eye as he sat alone.  Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood
scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, ‘What are you making?’

Just as sweetly, the boy responded, ‘Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.’

The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears
started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew
what must be done…

That evening the husband took Grandfather’s hand and gently led him back to
the family table.  For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the
family… And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any
longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

Published in: on November 14, 2010 at 9:59 am  Leave a Comment  

Keep your eyes straight ahead.

It’s so tempting to compare everyone and everything. Does my house look as nice as my neighbors’? Are my brothers more successful than me? Is my hubby as involved in the school as the other moms’ husbands? I find that I can sit around and think myself into feeling terrible if I’m of a mind to do it. Have you done the same thing?

Why do we do that to ourselves? We shouldn’t. The only person we should be comparing ourselves to is ourselves. We’re running our own race here. We have our own obstacles and challenges to face. These other people have not walked in our shoes, have not been through what we’ve been through.

Maybe you don’t own your own house, but it seems like every one of your friends do. So what? Maybe they didn’t go through a two-year layoff from work. Maybe they didn’t go through that unexpected surgery. We shouldn’t compare ourselves to everyone else!

If I sit around and think about Stephenie Meyers, for example, I’ll feel like a failure as a writer. Wouldn’t anyone? If I think about the friend from high school that has the home of my dreams, the car of my dreams, and the husband and kids that seem picture perfect, I will most likely think myself straight into feeling depressed. From now on, I refuse to think like that.

Let’s face forward and keep our eyes on our own path. Leave the others around us to do the same. Only a higher power than we are can foresee where our lives are going. Instead of thinking ourselves into misery, turn the tables. Think yourself into being happy!

Published in: on October 12, 2010 at 8:39 am  Comments (2)  
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Introduction to Smiling Pains

I grew up in a house where a frown was called a frog face. I don’t want to look like a frog, so I smile a lot. For the most part, it is usually returned. Occasionally, however, I get a reaction of nothing or even a grimace. I can sympathize though. Let’s face facts; in today’s world, there is way too much to frown about.

One place in particular I personally find a smile challenging is the grocery store. It is far from the inviting image the bright yellow rollback smiley faces portray on one grocery chain’s commercials. In my opinion, the atmosphere is akin to a headache and incidentally, I always leave the store with one. Still, I continue to smile.

A typical shopping trip for me usually begins with grabbing a broken buggy that violently jerks to the right every few feet as I make my way through the store. Then, the truly fun part begins. The joke is always on me when the store decides to rearrange everything every few months so I can’t find the items on my list. As I look, I dodge a countless number of other customers who also have broken buggies and are suffering from “buggy rage.” Don’t worry. It happens to even the best of us. Just keep smiling.

The best part of the shopping adventure is standing in the checkout line for forty-five minutes to an hour because there are only four lanes open and fifty customers in line. It’s during this time in the store that my son grows antsy and begs for me to hurry up so we can leave. He spies all the items hanging by the registers for purchase. He wants one of everything, especially the candy bars. I smile as brightly as I can by this point as I tell him no.

When it is finally my turn to checkout, I try to load my groceries in my buggy as quickly as possible so I can leave. By the time I turn back around to pay, the customer behind me has moved up to the cash register and I am forced to jam my hip into their buggy so I am able to reach to swipe my check card. I won’t mention what it was like the time the cashier actually asked to see the signature on the card and my check card was so old that the signature had rubbed off, so we had to start over again. Ha-ha. That day was truly a test in smiling through the pain.

On my way out of the store, with my new headache and a load of groceries to load in the car and unload at home, I smile. For just a split second, it even turns into a real one when the door greeter mutters, “God Bless you.”

I believe that my smile is important and I choose to smile in the grocery store because when I glance down at my son I see him watching me and learning from me. A smile is often a challenge for me, but it truly is a gift I can give even when it hurts. I think it is worth the pain, so I keep practicing.

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Published in: on October 9, 2010 at 12:27 pm  Leave a Comment  
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I’m changing, so is my husband

Have you ever had one of those moments where you look at your husband and think, This is not the man I married. Yeah, I have, too. It happens to us all.

The thing is marriage is forever and people change in that time span. My husband and I have been married for eight years now. He’s truly my best friend. But, in that time, I know I’ve changed a great deal. I’m hoping all the changes have been for the better. 🙂 (Husband, if you’re reading this, you better be nodding…lol.)

Okay, I admit I’ve put on some weight since high school. Maybe that change wasn’t for the better, but… I’m talking about the type of changes that really alter a person’s personality. Events happen in our lives that really change us, that’s a fact.

One of those events for me was having a baby. I learned that my days of selfishness were gone. I had someone else I had to think about now. My needs went to the back burner, so did the needs of my husband.

He changed during that time as well. He became less mellow, more aggressive in his approach to almost everything. He turned into the protector, a stronger provider and much more assertive in his pursuit of happiness for his family.

Before this time, I really did get my way with just about everything with my husband. Imagine my surprise when he first started asserting his opinion into our marriage. There was a little resistance at first on my part. Then, as we all do, I matured and learned to begin the art of compromise. Yay for me!

I think for both of us having a baby took some adjustments. But, I don’t think change has to be a bad thing. It can add some excitement to the marriage. Look at it as a chance to get to know your spouse all over again and to fall in love all over again.

Date night is still my favorite night of the month, and trust me when I say the hubby better bring on the charm. I still expect a night that will take my breath away!

Published in: on October 7, 2010 at 9:22 am  Comments (2)  
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When you’ve had too much life…

I tell you what, everyday life has really thrown me some curve balls lately, mostly financial ones. Two broken down cars, a dead riding lawn mower, some unexpected medical bills, and on and on. I’m sure you know exactly how that feels.

It makes me want to scream, “Enough!” My pocket book went dry with the first curve ball. We can stop now!

Then, I got to thinking about my friend. She’s such a trooper. She’s a single mom with twin girls. She works three jobs. She’s gone through the broken down cars, and she has NO lawn mower. She pays monthly on all those unexpected medical bills… And, I’m complaining? Okay, I’ll shut up now.

We all run our own race. We all have ups and downs. We all have those specific challenges that we feel like there’s just no way we can handle.

When you’ve had too much life, think of that one person that inspires you. For me, it is my friend. Who is it for you?

Published in: on October 4, 2010 at 8:29 am  Leave a Comment  
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Perception really can be everything.

I used to love the wind. I mean I really, really, really
loved the wind.

 

Sure, everybody wants a breeze to cool them off in the
summertime. They probably want it enough to thank God for it, particularly on
humid days. Or, everybody enjoys a good beach breeze on a stifling day.

 

For me, the wind was more than that. As a kid, I would love
to run and play in the wind, the harder the better. I could turn into the
breeze and pretend that I was a goddess that could summon the power of the wind
on my command. If I turned away, my hair would slap me against the face and I
could pretend the wind was some bad, evil thing that I was running away from.

 

Under a tree on an autumn day, I could dance in the falling
leaves and pretend to be a princess of the forest. Or, I could chase the leaves
and fight them and become a warrior. If I fell, rolling around in the leaves
became a new game, the wind blowing them around me like a sideways tornado.

 

The wind was so much fun!

 

That’s not the case anymore. I don’t like the wind, not even
a little bit. Every time I look out the window and see the trees swaying back
and forth, I cringe. Even a light breeze upsets me. Because now, all I think
about with wind is that it causes my son’s allergies to flare up.

 

One little thing and my whole viewpoint has completely
changed. In this instance, something good was turned around to be negative.
But, the reverse must also be true. Something bad could turn into a positive if
we can find a way to change our perception.

 

So, the next thing that comes my way that seems really bad,
I’m going to pause and rethink the situation. Maybe it won’t be so bad, after
all. What do you think? Worth a try, right?

Published in: on August 26, 2010 at 2:05 pm  Leave a Comment  

Patience is such a cruel concept

Unofficial Disclaimer from an Amateur Giver of Advice: First and foremost, I’m no expert on pretty much anything. But, I’ve been through and witnessed enough hardships to have some noteworthy experience in many areas. 🙂 Laughing at me yet? Don’t worry. You can. So, here goes…

A few words of wisdom from Destiny on….(drum role please)….patience.

Oh boy, that’s a word none of us like to hear, isn’t it? I know it’s something I need more of. Maybe it’s even something no one can have enough of. Oh yeah, patience will take you far, but darn it all, it’s something that sucks to wait on, right? How can you learn patience if you can’t wait to get it? Ha-ha. Catch 22, is it not?

Well, the thing is that life will teach you patience whether you want to learn or not. Life will simply make you wait. That will probably make you angry, but it won’t do you any good, so you might as well just let it go. And folks, there it is. That’s patience. It’s that moment when you find peace while you’re waiting.

Maybe we need to thank our higher power for making us wait. Thank goodness we are learning, that we are being forced to learn, to evolve, to adapt and to mature. That’s what the waiting is all about.

Patience may suck, but with it comes peace, and that’s really worth waiting for. In the end, isn’t that what we all want? Isn’t that what we all need? Peace – a state of tranquility, a state of freedom, of calm and quiet. Sounds good, yes?

Anyways, that’s just what I’ve been thinking on the subject. Maybe I’m right. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m neither, but at least I’m still learning. That’s life.

Destiny’s prayer for the day: Thank you, Lord, for all the many things I want so badly, but have not yet received. Thank you for not giving me the extra money to replace my kitchen floor this year. Thank you that the second repair did not fix my truck. Thank you that I did not lose any of the weight I wanted to lose before bathing suit season. Thank you for not allowing me to hit bestseller status too easily. Thank you, thank you. Thank you for teaching me patience. I may hate it, but I need it. Help me to learn this lesson quickly, please Lord. I want to learn what I need to learn so I can quit waiting. It’s killing me.

Wink Take care, my friends. Keep waiting for what’s to come and find some peace while you’re at it. Life will just keep teaching us until we learn the lesson, right? Have a good one!

Published in: on July 6, 2010 at 7:33 pm  Leave a Comment  
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