How the fight started…(for a laugh)

Author Unknown –

*My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have Sex?”

No, she answered.

I then said, “Is that your final answer?”
She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, “Yes.”

So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”
And that’s when the fight started…*

________________________________

*My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, “Do you know him?”
“Yes,” she sighed, “He’s my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn’t been sober since.”
“My God!” I said, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”
And then the fight started…*

________________________________

*Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked the boat up to the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly
undressed, and slipped back into bed.. I cuddled up to my wife’s back, now with a
different anticipation, and whispered, “The weather out there is terrible.”
My loving wife of 5 years replied, “And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?”
And that’s how the fight started…*

________________________________

*My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.”
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started. ….*

________________________________

*After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, “Unbutton your shirt.”
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, “That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me.”

And she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office…
She said, “You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.”
And then the fight started…*

________________________________

*My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.”
I replied, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
And then the fight started……..*

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Published in: on December 6, 2010 at 9:53 am  Comments (5)  

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5 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. […] How the fight started…(for a laugh) (via The Smiling Pains of Novelist Destiny Booze) Author Unknown – *My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have Sex?" No, she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And that's when the fight started…* ________________________________ *My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reun … Read More […]

  2. That’s funny!

    • It got me chuckling this morning! 🙂

  3. Funny. It’s fun to laugh. Thanks for sharing…

    • Definitely, Carol. Thanks for dropping by!


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