Creative Corner Entry: Short Story by Chelsy

Friends Forever

By: Chelsy Lawrence

                2:30 A.M.,
Marie and Shane were ready to get out of Trexler Hall and make their normal
rounds around campus. They headed to the orange doors of the elevator and
entered ready to breathe the fresh air of the spring night. The elevator gears
ground noisily against each other before the elevator jerked to a halt and
trembled in the middle of their ascent from the basement to the main floor.
Marie and Shane stumbled at the last jerk of the elevator just before it ceased
movement with an achy whine.

was that?” Marie said a little panicked.

nothing” Shane replied with worry lines creasing his forehead.

pressed the button for the main floor. No response. He pressed it again; still
no response. He pressed and held it for a few seconds then released it. Still

* * * *

Shane checked his watch
and sighed.
3:00 am.  Marie looked
at her cell, still no service. She wielded the phone around a bit in hopes of a
signal bar jumping to life on the screen. No
such luck.

If Marie hadn’t known
her best friend as well as she did she would swear he was completely calm about
being stuck in a small space; she new better. The maddening prickle of her legs
falling asleep drove her to get up; Shane followed suit to shy away from
awkwardness. She stretched and leaned into the back wall. Her face towards the
yellow fluorescent lighting and a square that looked large enough to fit a
skinny, double jointed person through.

“Marie, I want to say
that-” he stopped suddenly at a rattling sound coming from the elevator shaft.

must be Campo or janitors or something to get us out of here!” Marie said
excitedly, somewhat relieved by the change in subject, maybe it’s not time to hear it.

                “Campo? Oh right, the campus police. It’s so weird
for someone else to call them that since it’s just a school thing.”

backed against the far corner away from the square in the ceiling in order to
be out of the way of their rescuers.

Hello! We’re down here! Hello?” Shane yelled to the ceiling when the clattering
got closer and seemed to stop; the elevator sank slightly.

sizable square in the ceiling was lifted up revealing nothing but a dark hole
at first, then long, boney fingers snaked around the opening and a face popped
into the elevator.  The face had wide,
neon green eyes, one which started directly at Shane and Marie while the other
darted around in its socket aimlessly. The man’s lips were curled into a
crooked smile, revealing one tooth that came to a point sharper than normal.

He said; his voice sounded as if he was under the influence of a numbing drug
making it hard for his mouth to sound out the syllables normally.

gripped Shane’s hand; each of them stared at this wild, shaggy-haired person
peeking into the elevator at them. It was clear that whoever this was was not a
janitor or Campo. Neither Shane nor Marie let their eyes drift away from this
stranger. He seemed to have a tick about him; every so often his entire head
would jerk to the right as if someone was electrifying a nerve in his neck.

me to introduce, AchBach is my name and AchBach is coming down” he said.

His head disappeared to
be replaced with the rest of his arm and shoulder, his face and other shoulder
and arm jerked through next. Then his legs twisted at an unrealistic acrobatic
angle letting him fall to the floor in a crouch. When he stood to full height
he was hunched and relatively short. He had a very skinny, boney frame, like a
skeleton with not enough skin to stretch around itself. His skin was stretched especially
taught over his facial bones that seemed so sharp they could cut the five
o’clock shadow on his jaw with ease. The one consistent eye kept watch of Marie
and Shane while the other rocked back and forth at the bottom of its socket. He
wore a dirty polo with one side of the collar spiked up and the other laid
down, a pair of greasy jeans bunched up around the tops of his combat boots and
a moth eaten kilt over top his jeans. AchBach kept his gnarled hands close to
his chest near the loosely sewed polo buttons; the fingers continued to fidget
and move as if they were greedily handling money or valuables. The tick in his
neck persisted.

“AchBach has seen you
two before, yes, you two walk campus after midnight. Anyway, I forget myself,
back to introducing. AchBach is my name, AchBach Creeperrs. I live in the attic
of Mulysa Hall over by east campus. My friends live there with me, they always
smile at AchBach whenever’s he goes to bed. AchBach burned his mattress so he
wouldn’t have to smell AchTach anymore, he was a chain-smoking little bugger;
it was the last thing he defecated on before he went missing.  AchTach’s is AchBach’s turtle… but he’s gone
now” he rambled; his fingers fidgeted mercilessly when he talked about
‘AchTach’ the turtle being gone.

“AchBach sleeps in the
bathtub in his sleeping bag. Yes, in his sleeping bag. AchBach can sing, he
sings quiet well. Why thank you! You’re welcome! Yes, AchBach is a fan of the
beautiful song of yodeling” his head twitched at the end of every sentence and at
the change of subject.

“AchBach wants to know
his new friends’ names” he said gesturing eagerly to Shane and Marie who were
standing there terrified.



They replied exchanging
quick, frightened glances. AchBach took a step closer to them and presented his
hand. Upon closer inspection, his hand had sore scabs on the back of it, his
nails were metallic silver and grime seemed to be caked around the raw cuticle.
Marie’s left hand remained inside Shane’s while the other reached out to shake
AchBach’s hand; Shane followed suit.

“Marie and Shane… no,
no this never do,” he paused thinking scratching his temple, “AchMach and
AchSach!” he exclaimed, eyes squinting slightly as he cackled with thrill at
the renaming.

“AchBach likes it! He
loves it!”

Marie was afraid to
speak directly to AchBach, Who the fuck
is this guy? How are we going to get out of here?
Her knuckles were a
lighter shade than her skin because of how firmly she gripped Shane’s hand.
Shane cleared his throat as if the extra pressure from Marie’s hand had
instilled a kind of bravery in him.

“AchBach, can you help
us get out of here?”

“AchBach only helps his
friends, he would be delighted if you two would be his friends, he’ll help you
then. Yes, his friends only.”

Marie looked at Shane
and met her eyes. His face was calm but his eyes gave his fear away. Shane don’t be stupid, get Ach-fuck,
whatever his name is out of here so we can wait for real help!

“Sure, we’ll be your
friends if you help us out of here AchBach.

Holy fuck! Is he crazy?  Marie cursed
in her head.

Marie’s eyes widened
and shot Shane a look of fear and disapproval. Shane nudged Marie’s side and
shot her a look back saying; ‘it’s the
only way out at the moment’

“Yipeeee! AchBach has
new friends! Yipeeee! AchBach wants to touch his new friend’s hearts with a
warm embrace” he said and motioned them towards him for a hug.

Shane and Marie knew
they needed to comply with his wish so they could get out. Together they moved
from the wall and jointly gave AchBach a hug. His clothes smelled of something
Marie hadn’t noticed before. It reminded her of something rotting but Marie
couldn’t correctly place. It’s not a
skunky smell; it’s certainly rotting flesh if I had to guess.
AchBach slid
his arms from around their torsos and let them rest on their chests, directly
over their hearts.

“AchBach’s warm heart
embraces are more intimate than a hug,” he said with his head jerking to the

Marie and Shane looked
at each other confused.


was dark; the lava lamp did not produce enough light to sufficiently brighten
the room.  The plug-in fan whirred on top
a desk.  The trashy apartment was strewn
with twisted dirty sheets, crusty underwear hanging from the cracked computer
monitor and cigarette boxes forming a pyramid on the ruined poker table. Aside
from the whirring of the fan, a static-interrupted radio station played behind
the slightly ajar door across from the ‘Singing in the Rain’ movie poster
poorly tacked to the broken closet door. Just inside that door green tiles
covered the walls of the bathroom with an echoing “Yodel-Ay-EEE-Oooo, yodel-ay,
yodel-ay, yodel-ay, yodel-Ay-EEE, yodel-ay-EEE- Oooo…” playing from the radio
situated under the sink tuned to the local college radio station. AchBach sat
inside his bathtub, fingers fidgeting like a well-oiled machine against the
dried sticky red crust covering them with large chunks already having flaked
off. His eyes stared blankly at his prize in front of him.

news this Monday morning, two college students reported missing this past
Sunday were found this afternoon.,” the radio DJ declared, “Local students
Shane Brown and Marie Matthews were found in the elevator of Trexler Hall. All
students are on high alert because apparently their bodies were found, heads
dismembered and missing their hearts, the police….”

mirror on the wall had a nail driven next to it. The nail had two shrunken
heads hanging from it, one with wavy brown hair and the other with short,
spikey blonde hair.

friends are friends forever.”



Revision Commentary:     

I revised this I had to fix some grammar throughout. That was an easy fix for
me because when I wrote the first submission I didn’t have time to revise the
errors I wrote in accidentally before turning it in. I didn’t notice the first
large paragraph in the end wasn’t very clear until it was commented on and I
reread it. It sounded like just a list but I think I like it better the way I
tweaked it. The other odd wordings of things sounded odd when I originally
wrote them but, once again, I didn’t have time for revision before. Another
thing I had to clarify was ‘Campo’ which is what the campus police are
nicknamed at the college where this story takes place. I think the interjection
of what ‘Campo’ means will help this be clearer to readers so they won’t be
thrown off. I think I like this story better after the revision.

Published in: on June 23, 2010 at 5:45 pm  Leave a Comment  

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