Smart Aleck Answers : )

Smart Aleck Answers…
 

Author Unknown



SMART ALECK
ANSWER #6

 

It was
mealtime during  an airline flight.  

‘Would you
like dinner?’  

the flight
attendant asked John, seated in front.  

‘What are my
choices?’  John asked.  

‘Yes or no,’
she  replied.

SMART ALECK
ANSWER #5

 

A flight
attendant was stationed at the

departure
gate to check tickets.

As a man
approached, she extended her

hand for the
ticket and he

opened his
trench coat and flashed her.

Without
missing a beat, she said,

‘Sir, I need
to see your ticket, not your stub.’

SMART ALECK
ANSWER #4

 

A lady was
picking through the frozen turkeys at

the grocery
store but she couldn’t find one

big enough
for her family. She asked a stock boy,

‘Do these
turkeys get any bigger?’

The stock boy
replied, ‘No ma’am, they’re dead.’

SMART ALECK
ANSWER #3

 

The police
officer got out of his car as the

kid who was
stopped for speeding

rolled down
his window. ‘I’ve been waiting for

you all day,’
the officer said. The kid replied,

Yeah, well I
got here as fast as I could.’

When the cop
finally stopped laughing,

he sent the
kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ALECK
ANSWER #2

 

A truck
driver was driving along on the freeway and

noticed a
sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead.

Before he
knows it, the bridge is right in front of him

and his truck
gets wedged under it.

Cars are
backed up for mi les.. Finally a police car

comes up. The
cop gets out of his car and

walks to the
truck driver, puts his hands on his

hips and
says, ‘Got stuck, huh?’

The truck
driver says, ‘No, I was delivering this

bridge and I
ran out of gas.’

SMART ALECK
ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2009 !!

 

A college
teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam.

‘Now class, I
won’t tolerate any excuses for

you not being
here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear

attack or a
serious personal injury, illness, or a death

in your
immediate family, but that’s it,

no other
excuses whatsoever!’ A smart-ass student in

the back of
the room raised his hand and asked,

‘What would
you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from

complete and
utter sexual exhaustion?’

The entire
class is reduced to laughter and snickering.. .

When silence
was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly

at the
student , shook her head and sweetly said,

‘Well, I
guess you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.’

 

A BONUS EXTRA

 

A woman is
standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror.

She is not
happy with what she sees and says

to her
husband, ‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.

I really need
you to pay me a compliment.’

The husband
replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’

Funeral
services are private.

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Published in: on April 27, 2010 at 12:23 pm  Leave a Comment  

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