A Smile Every Sunday – Marriage Humor

Marriage
Humor

Author Unknown

 

Wife: ‘What are you doing?’

Husband: Nothing.

Wife: ‘Nothing…? You’ve been reading our marriage
certificate for an hour.’

Husband: ‘I was looking for the expiration date.’

 ——————————-

 

Wife: ‘Do you want dinner?’

Husband: ‘Sure! What are my choices?’

Wife: ‘Yes or no.’

——————————–

 

Wife: ‘You always carry my photo in your wallet.. Why?’

Hubby: ‘When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look
at your picture and the problem disappears.’

Wife: ‘You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?’

Hubby: ‘Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other
problem can there be greater than this one?’

———————————

 

Stress
Reliever

 

Girl: ‘When we get married, I want to share all your
worries, troubles and lighten your burden.’

Boy: ‘It’s very kind of you, darling, but I don’t have any
worries or troubles.’

Girl: ‘Well that’s because we aren’t married yet.’

——————————–

 

Son: ‘Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he
told me to give up my seat to a lady.’

Mom: ‘Well, you have done the right thing.’

Son: ‘But mum, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.’

——————————–

 

A
newly married man asked his wife, ‘Would you have married me if my
father hadn’t left me a fortune?’

‘Honey,’
the woman replied sweetly, ‘I’d have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU
A FORTUNE!’

—————————–—-

 

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.

The guy
replies: ‘Thanks for the early warning.’

 ——————————-

 

A wife
asked her husband: ‘What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?’

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: ‘I like
your sense of humor!’

——————————–

 

Husbands
are husbands

 

A man
was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a
frying pan.

‘What
was that for?’ the man asked.

The
wife replied ‘That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I
found in your pants pocket’.

The
man then said ‘When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the
horse I bet on.’

The
wife apologized and went on with the housework.

 

Three
days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an
even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness
the man asked why she had hit again.

 

Wife replied.
‘Your horse phoned.’

————————————–

 

Give
me a sense of humor, Lord,

Give
me the grace to see a joke,

To
get some humor out of life,

And
pass it on to other folk.

 

Money Management Golden Rule:

‘Stop
spending more than you have on stuff you don’t need to impress people you
really don’t like’

**Thank you for sending this to me, Shannon.**

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Published in: on September 6, 2009 at 2:45 pm  Leave a Comment  

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