A Smile Every Sunday – Famous Quotes

Ah, yes divorce…from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet. – Robin Williams

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself. – Roseanne

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. – Billy Crystal

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a
look that says, "My God, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of
that!" – Dave Barry

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other
women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men
are just grateful. – Jay Leno

In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra. Is
that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention
to women’s breasts? – Jay Leno

We have women in the military, but they don’t put us in the front
lines. They don’t know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can.
All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see
the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms." –
Elayne Boosler

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. – Phyllis Diller

There’s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are
having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe
swelling. So, what’s the problem? – Jay Leno

When the sun comes up, I have morals again. – Elayne Boosler

There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men don’t think
there’s a lot they don’t know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men
think, "I know what I’m doing, just show me somebody naked." – Jerry

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten. – George Carlin

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house. – Lewis Grizzard

The problem with the designated driver program, it’s not a desirable job.
But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end
of the night, drop them off at the wrong house. – Jeff Foxworthy

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. – Robin Williams

**From http://www.jokesgalore.com.**

Published in: on June 7, 2009 at 12:01 pm  Leave a Comment  

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